I don't usually discuss current events in a public forum but it seems as if so much has happened lately and everyone has an opinion that I might as well put my two cents worth in also.
It started with the US Supreme Court striking down Section 4 of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Now, Southern states (those that were part of the Confederate States during the War of Northern Aggression) no longer have to get permission from the federal government if they want to amend their voting laws. According to the powers that be, that decision is going to immediately thrust us back into the pre-Civil Rights era and minorities will have to go back to taking literacy tests and paying poll taxes. The media gurus seem to think that voter discrimination will run rampant throughout the nation. I've got a bit of news for them. Voter discrimination existed without the help of the Supreme Court. Why is it that I, born and bred in these here United States and raised in the Southern region of the nation, have to show my ID to prove that I am at the correct polling place and legally eligible to vote, and those individuals in other sections of our country who may or may not be correctly following voting procedures, do not? Reconstruction is alive and well.
Then there is the uproar over Defense of Marriage Act ruling. According to the Supreme Court, it's unconstitutional. My personal opinion is that the definition of marriage is a union, sanctified by God, between a man and a woman. Does this mean I am going to stop talking to my gay friends? No. I don't have to agree with them to love them. That's like saying my husband and I have to see eye to eye on everything (like that's ever going to happen!) or my kids have to agree with every word that comes out of my mouth. (Just because they do...) Having said that, I believe, in this case, the Court is correct. Nowhere in the US Constitution does it say anything about the federal or state governments being responsible for mandating marriages. That is not the government's job. This was not the intent of the founding fathers when the US was established and I am of the opinion that the topic did not even come up in the conversation. Move on, people. Our job is not to try to force others to accept a specific viewpoint through legislation. All that happens is that it continues to divide people and eventually becomes fodder for media rants.
Updated July 11, 2013
http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/168778-7-must-know-facts-about-same-sex-marriage-and-the-supreme-court-ruling.html?p=1
Which brings me to the real reason for this particular post. These two rulings were pretty big issues, I thought. However, they were both completely overshadowed by what should have been a minor footnote in the media annals if it were even worthy of mention. The Paula Deen "scandal." It seems that some 25-30 years ago, Ms. Deen made an off-color comment, using the "N" word in conversation. She has since apologized (repeatedly), apparently cleaned up her vocabulary and changed her racist ways. Yet she continues to be vilified in the media, losing her cooking shows on The Food Network along with numerous endorsement contracts. That does not even take into account the so-called "Plantation Party" that never actually happened. (Read the deposition, people. It's a public document.) The odd thing about this whole ordeal (other than the fact that it won't go away) is that most of the millions of people who have come out in support of Ms. Dean and her family are from the South. I mean, aren't we supposed to be the backwoods, cousin-marrying, hypocritical, rednecks down here? Isn't the enlightened media monster supposed to be the all-knowing, all-loving, forgiving entity where everyone makes mistakes and should be given second, third, fourth, and fifth (etc) chances? Does anyone else see the juxtaposition of this picture?
What does this have to do with me? I've done plenty that I not particularly proud of, but thinking back over my relatively short lifespan (ahem), I'm pretty sure I can honestly say that I have never called anyone the "N" word. At least, I cannot consciencely remember doing so. In fact, just trying to remember ever having made such a vulgar remark in reference to another human being makes my skin crawl. I want to cry when I even try to picture what my mother would have done to me if I had barely thought about using that word. Nor do I condone it in my own family. I hope that I have taught my children that all people are to be respected, simply by virtue of being God's creation and that there are no circumstances that justify racial epithets. When we discussed this whole topic, my children assured me they felt the same way.
Have I ever said the word "nigger"? Of course. I am a teacher. That word appears in numerous historical and literary documents and I have read it aloud several times in context within my classroom. I always preface those lessons with discussions about time period and culture and belief systems, and I have never had a problem or a question raised. Kids appreciate honesty.
(Rabbit Trail: I do not condone racial slurs in my classroom, no matter what the student's cultural background. Disrespect is disrespect. If I don't say it, they don't say it.)
Have I ever told a racist, religious, or sexist joke? Not since I was a stupid kid trying to look cool in front of my friends. And even then I wasn't very good at telling jokes, even clean ones. I always got the giggles before I got to the punch line and ended up spoiling everything. Plus, I've always been too fascinated by other cultures to make fun of them. These days what few jokes I do know are usually at the expense of Alabama fans, which is entirely acceptable.
Where does God fit into all of this? He tells us to forgive and to love. A great many people have forgiven Paula Deen for her mistakes and continue to love her. While I may not agree with others on the definition of marriage, that doesn't mean I don't love them. Even if they stop loving me (which is certainly possible). The federal government appears to have forgiven the Southern states for their stupidity in trying to keep minorities from exercising their right to vote (whether or not they love us remains to be seen). Some of us are trying to inch our way in the right direction.
But...can I apply these principle to my every day? Can I forgive The Hubby when he makes a disparaging remark about something I've done (or haven't done). Can I keep on loving the Free Spirit when she makes decisions that cause me to want to wring her neck (or at least shave her head)? Can I forgive myself for the utter chaos I have made of my life by not listening to the Father's guidance even though he has forgiven me? Can I love myself, OCD, wrinkles, grey hair and all, believing that I am beautiful because I am made in the image of the Creator? If I have learned anything from the headlines these past days, it's not been about the stones that I've thrown at others. It's been about dealing with the ones I've hurled at myself. If I am to be a follower and love people then I cannot be selective about the people I love. Not even to the exclusion of myself. That would make me the biggest hypocrite of all.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
All Quiet on the Western Front
(with apologies to E M Remarque)
The house is empty and quiet. For the moment it is just me and Max the Wonderdog in blissful peace and tranquility. We've earned it. We're going to enjoy it.
Once a year the nieces and nephew trek down to spend about a week with us sans their mommies. The kids spend the day in the pool, we try to do some sort of special project (this year we made hula hoops) and in the evening they attend Kid Fest at our church (SRCC's version of Vacation Bible School). Everyone looks forward to this mini-vacation. At least in the beginning.
The ages of said relatives range from 5 (the nephew) to 11. Two of the three are ADHD and only one has medicine which was just begun this week. This year the mommies came down early which meant I had FIVE extra people in my house instead of three. No wonder the husband kept leaving early for work.
I love my family. No, really, I do. In small doses. Like, microscopically small doses. Nanoseconds here and there. As long as they are quiet. Which is seldom. What am I saying?!? They're never quiet.
On the way home, the middle niece talked nonstop for two and a half hours, even while she was being carsick and throwing up.
On the first day of Kid Fest, the nephew decided to interrupt the skit to give the main performer a high five and a pep talk. Twice.
On the morning of the third day with us, Nephew rode his bicycle down our admittedly steep driveway. Unfortunately, he badly misjudged the angle of decent and amount of speed and took a face plant at the bottom of said driveway. I'm betting by the sound of his screams, the entire neighborhood assumed I was beating him.
Every time the kids got into the pool, Max decided they were drowning and kept jumping in to try and save them. For a dog who is actually afraid of the water and can barely swim himself, it was not really as cute as it sounds.
When Cinderella decided the younger ones needed to learn to swim for real, the whining and crying began and my nerves went haywire (as we say down south). They yelled at her, she yelled at them, they tattled, I yelled at everybody, you get the picture. Then the mommies arrived. And the whining and crying began for real. (The husband told me to get a grip.)
Everyone tells me that my children are always nice and polite and oh, so sweet. I look at them like they've got two heads or something and say, "My children? Are you sure you haven't confused them with, say, some alien doppleganger from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius?" Then I look at the child in question and say, "Who are you and what have you done with...?" Everyone laughs politely, assuming that I'm joking. (I'm not.) My children were pure hellions at home. Not always but enough to make me decide that if Cinderella had been the firstborn instead of the last, she would have been an only child. The question that always gets asked is why do children act so horrible at home and so good around other people?
I think the answer has to do with security and limits. We set limits for our children and disciplined them when they crossed those lines. Children need those limits. They need boundaries set so that they know that they are safe and when children feel safe, they feel loved. Then, within those limits, actions were acceptable or at least negotiable. So, at least in our house, the kids could let off steam, knowing that we would still love them even if we had to discipline them.
It's such an incredible picture of God's love. There are acceptable and not acceptable behaviors that we engage in as human beings. When we sin, there are consequences. Sometimes these are natural consequences, sometimes God must discipline us. Either way, He never ever stops loving us and within that love we are free to do and be so much more than what we were without Him. And I'll take that over peace and quiet any day.
The house is empty and quiet. For the moment it is just me and Max the Wonderdog in blissful peace and tranquility. We've earned it. We're going to enjoy it.
Once a year the nieces and nephew trek down to spend about a week with us sans their mommies. The kids spend the day in the pool, we try to do some sort of special project (this year we made hula hoops) and in the evening they attend Kid Fest at our church (SRCC's version of Vacation Bible School). Everyone looks forward to this mini-vacation. At least in the beginning.
The ages of said relatives range from 5 (the nephew) to 11. Two of the three are ADHD and only one has medicine which was just begun this week. This year the mommies came down early which meant I had FIVE extra people in my house instead of three. No wonder the husband kept leaving early for work.
I love my family. No, really, I do. In small doses. Like, microscopically small doses. Nanoseconds here and there. As long as they are quiet. Which is seldom. What am I saying?!? They're never quiet.
On the way home, the middle niece talked nonstop for two and a half hours, even while she was being carsick and throwing up.
On the first day of Kid Fest, the nephew decided to interrupt the skit to give the main performer a high five and a pep talk. Twice.
On the morning of the third day with us, Nephew rode his bicycle down our admittedly steep driveway. Unfortunately, he badly misjudged the angle of decent and amount of speed and took a face plant at the bottom of said driveway. I'm betting by the sound of his screams, the entire neighborhood assumed I was beating him.
Every time the kids got into the pool, Max decided they were drowning and kept jumping in to try and save them. For a dog who is actually afraid of the water and can barely swim himself, it was not really as cute as it sounds.
When Cinderella decided the younger ones needed to learn to swim for real, the whining and crying began and my nerves went haywire (as we say down south). They yelled at her, she yelled at them, they tattled, I yelled at everybody, you get the picture. Then the mommies arrived. And the whining and crying began for real. (The husband told me to get a grip.)
Everyone tells me that my children are always nice and polite and oh, so sweet. I look at them like they've got two heads or something and say, "My children? Are you sure you haven't confused them with, say, some alien doppleganger from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius?" Then I look at the child in question and say, "Who are you and what have you done with...?" Everyone laughs politely, assuming that I'm joking. (I'm not.) My children were pure hellions at home. Not always but enough to make me decide that if Cinderella had been the firstborn instead of the last, she would have been an only child. The question that always gets asked is why do children act so horrible at home and so good around other people?
I think the answer has to do with security and limits. We set limits for our children and disciplined them when they crossed those lines. Children need those limits. They need boundaries set so that they know that they are safe and when children feel safe, they feel loved. Then, within those limits, actions were acceptable or at least negotiable. So, at least in our house, the kids could let off steam, knowing that we would still love them even if we had to discipline them.
It's such an incredible picture of God's love. There are acceptable and not acceptable behaviors that we engage in as human beings. When we sin, there are consequences. Sometimes these are natural consequences, sometimes God must discipline us. Either way, He never ever stops loving us and within that love we are free to do and be so much more than what we were without Him. And I'll take that over peace and quiet any day.
Things we collected this year
Thursday, June 13, 2013
A Death in the Laundry Room
I am in mourning. My washing machine is currently in an electronic coma, on it's metaphorical last legs. I am having to haul my laundry to various places in order to keep my family in clean clothing. This is not what I would consider a fun way to spend my Summer break. It's doubly frustrating because we only purchased the machine within the past five years. It's one of those energy efficient ones that is supposed to use less water and less agitation therefore be better for the environment. It's a beautiful glossy black that fits perfectly with my future decor. We even got the matching dryer to keep it company, But it refuses to stay level on the spin cycle. Aggravating does not begin to describe how I feel about this monstrosity that has taken over my laundry room.
My husband swears he can fix it. He says it's just a simple part to replace and it won't take but a few minutes. He also says that when he takes the washer out to make this so-called minor repair he will go ahead and pull out the dryer, clean both machines, paint, finish the flooring, and get everything organized. In short, re-do the entire room according to what I originally planned when we moved into the house. I wait with baited breath.
I don't know why this bothers me so much. It's not like I'm the one who actually does the laundry in our family. The girls have been doing their own for years and I constantly tell everyone that my husband is a better mom than I am. We swapped the traditional roles in our house years ago (don't judge, it works for us). With all due respect, he should be the one all bent out of shape over this, but he's not. He'll order the part, change it out, and go about his business. Talk about swapping roles.
I'm usually the calm one. I'm the one that says, "This, too, shall pass," and the one that keeps everything in perspective. I'm the hand-holder, the listener, the one that taught her daughters how to eat ice cream like a real woman (with a big spoon, straight out of the carton). And, this isn't the first washing machine I've had to go out on me, nor is it the worst difficulty we've ever had with one. So why am I so bothered?
It may be that it is finally Summer and I haven't had a chance to be lazy. It was a very stressful year and I was looking forward to relaxing and working through some personal projects (and maybe my bucket list). It may be that I fought with my annual, end-of-the-school-year-feel-like-I'm-at-death's-door migraine and this is just another nail in the proverbial coffin. Or it's simply that I despise asking others for help. It messes up my sense of control.
Could also be why I have so much difficulty in my relationship with God. I always think I can do it myself. I can take care of me and mine, I don't need help, thank you very much. You just keep running the universe, I'll be fine on my own. Until I get into real trouble, then I start screaming, "Where are you?" Unfortunately, a real relationship doesn't operate in that fashion. You can't use God only when you need him and expect to grow closer to him. I need to work on letting go and relying on him daily, with the good and the bad, the little and the big, the happy and the sad. Even in the midst of piles of endless laundry.
I've always said that God has to use a 2x4 to get my attention at times. This time, I guess He used a Whirlpool Cabrio.
I don't know why this bothers me so much. It's not like I'm the one who actually does the laundry in our family. The girls have been doing their own for years and I constantly tell everyone that my husband is a better mom than I am. We swapped the traditional roles in our house years ago (don't judge, it works for us). With all due respect, he should be the one all bent out of shape over this, but he's not. He'll order the part, change it out, and go about his business. Talk about swapping roles.
I'm usually the calm one. I'm the one that says, "This, too, shall pass," and the one that keeps everything in perspective. I'm the hand-holder, the listener, the one that taught her daughters how to eat ice cream like a real woman (with a big spoon, straight out of the carton). And, this isn't the first washing machine I've had to go out on me, nor is it the worst difficulty we've ever had with one. So why am I so bothered?
It may be that it is finally Summer and I haven't had a chance to be lazy. It was a very stressful year and I was looking forward to relaxing and working through some personal projects (and maybe my bucket list). It may be that I fought with my annual, end-of-the-school-year-feel-like-I'm-at-death's-door migraine and this is just another nail in the proverbial coffin. Or it's simply that I despise asking others for help. It messes up my sense of control.
Could also be why I have so much difficulty in my relationship with God. I always think I can do it myself. I can take care of me and mine, I don't need help, thank you very much. You just keep running the universe, I'll be fine on my own. Until I get into real trouble, then I start screaming, "Where are you?" Unfortunately, a real relationship doesn't operate in that fashion. You can't use God only when you need him and expect to grow closer to him. I need to work on letting go and relying on him daily, with the good and the bad, the little and the big, the happy and the sad. Even in the midst of piles of endless laundry.
I've always said that God has to use a 2x4 to get my attention at times. This time, I guess He used a Whirlpool Cabrio.
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