Monday, February 3, 2014

What Women Do When You're Not Looking

I've been thinking a bit lately. (No comments from the peanut gallery, please.) At some point in the past weeks the term 'mentor' came to mind, and I've had that stewing around in my subconscious. At first, I tried to connect it to my students, because, Heaven knows, I could name about a hundred who need one desperately. But that didn't seem to gel. Then, to add to my confusion, in the midst of my thirty day read through the Psalms challenge, one of the psalmists mentioned his mother and that got added to the mix. To really stir up the conundrum, I took a rabbit trail in my head during a Sunday sermon (sorry, Ron) and began to think about who might have taught David how to be "a man after God's own heart." I guess you can see where this is going. I was a bit more dense.

It took a really bad cold, a southern "blizzard", and God waking me up at 2:30 in the morning (He used thoughts of me smothering The Hubby interspersed with the apostle Paul's admonishment to women that they should train up the younger generation) before I got the complete message.

It's not about being a mentor, or connecting mentors and mentees. It's about having one. I'm at a place in my life where I need guidance and direction. It's not a valley or a rut, it's a dead stop, and I have no idea which way to go. So, apparently, the Lord's answer is to find a mentor. Which will be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. It will mean opening up and admitting to someone that I haven't got a clue what I'm doing and I need help. And, more than likely, that someone (given my introverted personality and social anxiety) will be a relative stranger to me. It'll be interesting, to say the least.

With all this in mind, I started thinking of all the women in my life who have been mentors to me. Some are older, some younger, some I see on a daily basis, some I haven't seen in years. However, these women have each inspired me, encouraged me, and taught me something, whether they knew it or not. They all deserve jewels in their crown.


  • Mary Nell Halcomb Oliver - she taught me to stand, to walk, to read, to love learning, and to be self-sufficient. She will always be my first hero
  • Cheryl Halcomb Humphres - she has a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh. I have never seen her raise either her voice or her hand in anger, but she could set you back ten paces with the look in her eye. Her's is the soul of forgiveness and grace.
  • "Aunt" Nell Nugent - my second mom while I was growing up. She was one of the first to guide me along this journey. Her wisdom and unconditional love kept my spirit watered through many a desert trip.
  • Lenora McWhorter - not only an excellent teacher, but the embodiment of all I believed a true lady should be. Elegance personifed.
  • Carol Garrett - she told me one time that she loved coming to my house, because "everyone immediately becomes part of your family. You truly know how to make people feel like they're at home." I try to live up to that. And...she continues to think I have no wrinkles.
  • Layne Lavett - her spirit of unselfish service is beyond compare. She cleaned my bathroom when I couldn't. I cried that day.
  • Susan Oswalt - I will always return her phone calls. Anytime, day or night. No matter what. 
  • Betty Lanier - another true lady and a visible "helpmeet" to her husband throughout his entire life. I pray daily that my marriage becomes as Godly and as much a true partnership as hers.
  • Angela Lockhart and Linda Kelley - my sisters-in-heart. They have always had a laugh or a positive outlook even on the most rotten of days. I hate to think what my spirit would look like without constant reminders that God is in control, especially of the out-of-control.
  • The Eldest, The Free Spirit, and The Princess - they have all taught me to look at life in a new way, to try new things, to laugh at the absurdity of fate and to enjoy each moment of each day. You are my favorites.
For what it's worth, thank you. I love you all.
Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. ... Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.                                                                                                                                           Titus 2:1-6a The Message