I almost burned my house down yesterday. At least, that is what everyone in my neighborhood was thinking when the alarm system started going off, and the fire department showed up at my front door. Yes, the Edmondson clan does provide local entertainment for free! Stop on by! Then my sarcastic Facebook post upset my mother (understandably) because she read it before I could post a clarification. It also ticked off "The Joneses" because it apparently started a rumor (Heaven forbid) so I am, once again, in trouble with everyone around me.
Let's begin at the beginning. A good place, as always.
It was a Tuesday. Not a Monday, as one would think. According to Murphy's Law, if stuff is going to happen, Mondays are the most probable day. Nope, leave it to me. It was a Tuesday. It was my turn to provide dessert to my weekly small group Bible study and I was feeling guilty. I had copped out and purchased a cheesecake instead of creating a wonderful homemade confectionery delight. For pity's sake, it's Spring Break. I had time to make something. I'm a pretty good cook. Desserts are my specialty. I was just being lazy so I bought the cheesecake and some strawberries. Then the guilt kicked in and I got a fabulous idea! I would make chocolate sauce! Simple, quick and delicious!
(Rabbit Trail: If you've never had this, Google "chocolate gravy" recipes, pour over hot, buttered biscuits, and it's instant heaven on a plate, people, trust me!)
Unfortunately, in my endeavor to impress my friends with my culinary skills, I ignored the most basic cooking rule: Do Not Try To Multi Task in the Kitchen! Chocolate sauce will boil over very, very quickly. It did and the kitchen filled with smoke. Now, this is not the first time this has ever happened to me. Stuff boils over on the stove with amazing regularity in my house. It is, however, the first time our alarm system has ever registered it.
Please understand. We have lived in this house for six years. The house itself is almost thirty years old and the alarm system is probably close to the same age. When we moved in, we never changed the system over to our name. We had no idea it even worked. There is no company name on the number pad, we had no way to get in touch with any one, no idea how to turn it off, no idea of where the smoke detector was even located (the laundry room). My husband crawled into the attic yanking wires out of speakers, trying to get the thing to shut up. Our realtor called us because the alarm company called her. (She was still listed as the contact person for emergencies.) The police came. The fire department came. Our dog is going crazy. The cat is trying to sneak into the house because we have all the doors open. I'm laughing like a loon, freaking out not because I've caused chaos in the neighborhood, but because now we're late for Bible study.
This is my life. I volunteer to do some task for God, fully intending to give it my all. Then I get lazy and start procrastinating. (Rabbit Trail: There is a reason Sloth is one of the Seven Deadlies. http://springroad.org/#/sermons-studies ) When the deadline approaches, I panic, try to fill in with something else and ultimately make a mess of it, causing chaos in the process. Unfortunately, the end results are never quite so amusing or so simple to clean up as chocolate sauce on the stove. I'm just thankful that He continues to love me and forgive me. Most of the time, a lot faster than my neighbors.
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