The Cinderella has officially graduated from high school with honors and as a member of various extracurricular organizations, so she was privileged to wear multiple cords and stoles. Her favorite, however, was the ubiquitous "I'm my own self and therefore cool" cord that usually hangs above the tapestry by our backdoor. My heart cracked a bit to see how much she has really grown.
A week later, we attended freshman orientation. You have to understand that to say The Cinderella does not like change is not simply an understatement. It's more like saying tornadoes don't like trailer parks. All the way there she kept repeating, "I can't do this. I don't know anyone. What if I don't like it? What if I bomb all my classes? I don't know what to do? What if? What if? What if?" By the time the weekend was over, she had toured the new kinesiology building, and met one-on-one with an Olympic coach who has agreed to let her work with him as he trains athletes. Does she know what sport? Nope. Does she care? Not in the slightest. All she knows is it's progress toward her goal of becoming an athletic trainer to the stars. I watched her grow a little more that weekend, and the crack in my heart got a bit wider.
I just got back from a road trip with The Free Spirit. She has talked about moving to North Carolina for awhile now so we decided to go see what all the fuss might be about. I must say it was absolutely beautiful. I adore the mountains and I would love to spend as much time there as I possibly could, so I understand the pull the area has for my middle child. Yet, as a parent, I'm having a difficult time with agreeing with her reasoning for moving in the first place. She says she wants to go because our small town doesn't have what she needs. Yet she can't articulate exactly what that is. I know that she, too, is growing, but the crack in my heart is wide open on this one.
The Eldest is not currently employed. She says she felt that God was leading her in a different direction than radio so she left her position with our local station. I have no idea what she is going to do. She is already grown but...
The Cinderella is currently on a mission trip in Brazil. Alone. Well, not technically, but she is there sans a parental unit. Plus, that whole change thing is against her. She has had to deal with a ten plus hour flight when she hates to fly. She says it causes her to go deaf and no amount of chewing gum or yawning helps. She will be working with a Baptist missionary who is trying to plant a church, but she was not raised in a Baptist environment, so she is a bit clueless about how to proceed there. It's the middle of the 2014 World Cup. While the team is not in the same city as the games, we are all aware how serious Brazil is about its soccer. Lastly, while she has had two and a half years of classroom Spanish, she doesn't speak one iota of Portuguese. Talk about a growth experience. I'm not sure how many more cracks my heart can take right now.
I know that these situations are not any where near the vicinity of my control. I know that each one requires trusting that God will take care of them, and that "all things work together," etc. I know the whole "train up a child" mantra. I've prayed. (Believe me, I've prayed.) But the parent manual never mentioned how empty your soul would feel when you kick that last baby bird out of the nest. I'm not sure it's something I can (or want to) get used to.
So...
Promise me you'll be okay. Promise me you'll look both ways before crossing the street (so you don't ruin Christmas). Promise you call just to let me know you're still alive. Promise you'll study. Promise you'll finish your degree (I don't care what it is). Promise me you'll find a respectable job. Promise me you'll find a church family that loves you and loves Jesus. Promise me that you will treat other people with respect, no matter what. Promise me you will act like a lady. No matter what. Promise me you will love each other and other people, even if they seem unlovable. Promise me you will listen to the other side before you make that final decision. Promise me you'll do your research. Promise me you'll say no. Promise me you'll come home on occasion. Promise me you'll save your money. Promise me you will marry Godly men. Promise me.
Just don't promise me grandchildren.
Aww. Kim, now you are going to make me seriously shed tears! Promise ME that you will enjoy the freedom of enjoying time with your husband knowing that God indeed does have all of those sweet little chicks in His loving hands! Love you much!!
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