Mom

For turning off the tv and making us go outside.
For letting us roam the neighborhood. And the woods. And the lakeshore.
For making us clean our plates. And our rooms. Even under the beds (where the alligators hid).
For letting us fight. Literally.
For not letting us fight.
For making us get off the phone after 9 pm.
For letting us go to our friend's houses. And to our grandparent's houses. And to camp. By ourselves.
For not coming to get us when we cried.
For teaching us to read and write and say please and thank you and yes, ma'am and no, sir.
For not being our teacher when you could have been.
For Halloween and Christmas and Easter and Valentine's Day and all the birthday cakes in between.
For saying no.
For saying yes.
For holding our hands when we needed it. And our hair back when we needed that.
For making us learn to cook and clean and do laundry and sew and change diapers.
For the difference between play clothes and church clothes.
For knowing what recycling and repurposing was long before it was fashionable.
For making us work in that horrific garden.
For not taking us on the same vacations that all our friends were going on.
For making us learn to swim.
For teaching us how to drive.
For your love of music. Even if it is that crappy AM country station.
For making us go to church.
For washing our mouths out with soap.
For lighting our backsides up when we needed it (and the other three even when they didn't).
For the love of travel. And of books. And of people.
For making us get good grades. And behave in the classroom. No matter what.
For listening to our side. And the other side. Then getting the real story.
For teaching us how to leave home.
For sewing something minutes before we walked in a door or down the aisle.
For leaf cookies.
For the millions of other moments you have been there.
And...for teaching us to write thank you notes.

Happy Mother's Day!

Calgon, Take Me......Anywhere!

I've had it up to here! Isn't that how the saying goes? When the frustration level rises to more than can be taken, and you smack the edge of your hand against some region of your head (or higher) and start screaming? That's when everyone knows to back off and leave you in peace for a while until you can get things on an even keel again.

This is the time of year where I'm not sure if things will ever be even again. I'm inundated with pressures from from every aspect of my life and the end of the tunnel seems so very far away. The kids are being tested out the wazoo at school, so I can't even manage to get through a single uninterrupted week, let alone finish a unit on time. We should be halfway through the trial in To Kill a Mockingbird and I can't even get Scout off of Miss Maudie's front porch. The problem is, testing won't be over until May 15 and by that time we're a week from the end of school. I guess Odysseus will have to keep sailing because we can't get him home this year. (Let's not even mention the poetry unit I spent so much time creating.)

Then there is the family unit. The Princess is graduating this year. She is stressed. She is letting everyone know it. We still have senior band concert, senior chorus concert, senior prom, senior prom dinner (at our house), senior day at school and at church, tennis banquet, band banquet and finals. Have I even ordered graduation announcements? Plus, we are in the midst of fundraising for a mission trip to Brazil and when anyone mentions college, she freaks about "How am I going to pay for it?" Yep, she's a basket case. So am I.

I had two peaceful days of spring break. Then I got sick. Allergies kept me in bed and miserable so I had no chance to rest and relax before I had to jump back into the maelstrom. Plus, I continue the never-ending battle with migraines, in which I feel that if I gain an inch, I lose a mile.  Can I get a new brain, please? This one hurts too much.

Yes, this is a rant. Forgive me. I don't usually do this, especially in a public forum. I'm desperate for the break I have neither the time for, nor can I afford to take. So I will simply sit here and quietly and endlessly repeat a quote my aunt used to have hanging on her kitchen wall...

"One of these days I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. 

I've earned it. 

I deserve it. 

And no one is going to deprive me of it!"

Blue Toes and Bubbles

Spring is here. Officially. After the freaky winter we have had here below the Mason-Dixon line, I'm sure that I can say with perfect certainty that 99.99 percent of the population are glad it is. The other .01 percent are either carpetbaggers, weirdos, or people like me. Stuck in limbo.

Don't get me wrong. I like spring. The whole new life thing, the fact that I can get out and soak up some much needed vitamin D without dropping twenty-five pounds in sweat the moment I open the door, and the joy of being able to walk barefoot to the mailbox without either searing or freezing the soles of your feet completely off. Plus, I can paint my toenails blue again.

I paint my toenails all sorts of colors in the spring and summer. This includes any and all shades of blue, green, purple, and the deeper pinks. I do stay away from reds (too predictable) and yellow (too ugly). I like the odd colors, the unexpected ones. The ones that fit my mood at the moment and cause people to stop and say, "That's just downright weird." No one expects someone of my temperament and background and, let's face it, age, to have bright purple toenails. I like shocking people. Can you tell?

But you see, I like winter too. Not that I like being cold. I don't. I hate that part. It's physically painful for me. But I love being able to run a tub full of the hottest water I can stand, pour in tons of bubble bath, run everyone out of the house and be truly warm for a couple of hours. It gives me a chance to shut my brain down and really rest, if only for a little while. And it helps that I've got a tub big enough to drown a family of four all at the same time.

The problem stems from the fact that I don't paint my toenails in the winter and I don't take bubble baths during the warmer months. Hence the limbo. And I know most of you are having to reread that entire sentence, and you're thinking, "Well, that's just stupid." To explain. I don't paint my nails in the winter because I like to give them a chance to breathe (yes, finger and toenails have to breathe, look it up) and heal from being suffocated under layers of acrylic paint for weeks on end. It's called trying to stay on this side of healthy. As for the bubble baths, what southerner in their right mind would voluntarily submerge their bodies into near boiling water on days when the outside temperature is near boiling itself? That would be literally jumping from the frying pan into the fire, as the saying goes, and that truly is stupid. (And cool water defeats the whole purpose of a bubble bath, so don't even go there.)

But the seasons will continue to change and time will continue to pass so I will say good-bye for now to the long, hot soaks, and I will look forward with great anticipation to the multicolored rainbow that awaits my little tootsies. See you in the fall!

What Women Do When You're Not Looking

I've been thinking a bit lately. (No comments from the peanut gallery, please.) At some point in the past weeks the term 'mentor' came to mind, and I've had that stewing around in my subconscious. At first, I tried to connect it to my students, because, Heaven knows, I could name about a hundred who need one desperately. But that didn't seem to gel. Then, to add to my confusion, in the midst of my thirty day read through the Psalms challenge, one of the psalmists mentioned his mother and that got added to the mix. To really stir up the conundrum, I took a rabbit trail in my head during a Sunday sermon (sorry, Ron) and began to think about who might have taught David how to be "a man after God's own heart." I guess you can see where this is going. I was a bit more dense.

It took a really bad cold, a southern "blizzard", and God waking me up at 2:30 in the morning (He used thoughts of me smothering The Hubby interspersed with the apostle Paul's admonishment to women that they should train up the younger generation) before I got the complete message.

It's not about being a mentor, or connecting mentors and mentees. It's about having one. I'm at a place in my life where I need guidance and direction. It's not a valley or a rut, it's a dead stop, and I have no idea which way to go. So, apparently, the Lord's answer is to find a mentor. Which will be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. It will mean opening up and admitting to someone that I haven't got a clue what I'm doing and I need help. And, more than likely, that someone (given my introverted personality and social anxiety) will be a relative stranger to me. It'll be interesting, to say the least.

With all this in mind, I started thinking of all the women in my life who have been mentors to me. Some are older, some younger, some I see on a daily basis, some I haven't seen in years. However, these women have each inspired me, encouraged me, and taught me something, whether they knew it or not. They all deserve jewels in their crown.

• Mary Nell Halcomb Oliver - she taught me to stand, to walk, to read, to love learning, and to be self-sufficient. She will always be my first hero

• Cheryl Halcomb Humphres - she has a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh. I have never seen her raise either her voice or her hand in anger, but she could set you back ten paces with the look in her eye. Her's is the soul of forgiveness and grace.

• "Aunt" Nell Nugent - my second mom while I was growing up. She was one of the first to guide me along this journey. Her wisdom and unconditional love kept my spirit watered through many a desert trip.

• Lenora McWhorter - not only an excellent teacher, but the embodiment of all I believed a true lady should be. Elegance personifed.

• Carol Garrett - she told me one time that she loved coming to my house, because "everyone immediately becomes part of your family. You truly know how to make people feel like they're at home." I try to live up to that. And...she continues to think I have no wrinkles.

• Layne Lavett - her spirit of unselfish service is beyond compare. She cleaned my bathroom when I couldn't. I cried that day.

• Susan Oswalt - I will always return her phone calls. Anytime, day or night. No matter what. 

• Betty Lanier - another true lady and a visible "helpmeet" to her husband throughout his entire life. I pray daily that my marriage becomes as Godly and as much a true partnership as hers.

• Angela Lockhart and Linda Kelley - my sisters-in-heart. They have always had a laugh or a positive outlook even on the most rotten of days. I hate to think what my spirit would look like without constant reminders that God is in control, especially of the out-of-control.

• The Eldest, The Free Spirit, and The Princess - they have all taught me to look at life in a new way, to try new things, to laugh at the absurdity of fate and to enjoy each moment of each day. You are my favorites.

For what it's worth, thank you. I love you all.

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. ... Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.                                                                                                                                           Titus 2:1-6a The Message

Year's End

I go through this every year. Do I make New Year's resolutions or not? Everyone else that I seem to know manages to do pretty well. A couple of friends have even managed to accomplish 365 day challenges. I don't typically make any resolutions. I know myself too well. I'm pretty good for a month (week) or so, then I get busy for a couple of days and forget. Then I start making excuses. I'm tired. I'm busy. My head hurts. Monday is a better day to start back. The first of the month is a better day. Before I know it, it's May and I'm still forty pounds overweight, unorganized, and even more depressed. Why even bother? Which, in and of itself, is a depressing statement. So, I decided to look back over the bucket list and see just what I did accomplish in 2013.

• I started this blog.
• Went whitewater rafting
• Started the cathedral window quilt
• Am chipping away at the debt free thing
• I have a hula hoop - made it myself. Actually made several.
• I'm halfway to my 50th wedding anniversary.
• Have planned out the home office

I even managed to do some things not on the list

• Travel with The Parents
• Gain another teaching certificate
• Send out New Year's Eve cards

Did I change the world? No. Did I move mountains? Probably not. Did I become rich and famous? Ha! But I don't think I wasted the year either. Maybe that's what resolutions are really all about. Not what a crappy person you are for not being able to keep them but what a real person you are for not wanting your year to be wasted time. So, in honor of that, knowing full well that the year will be made up of pitfalls and speed bumps, here are my goals for 2014.

• I will pray every day. For the next 365 days, either on paper or verbally, I will spend time talking with the Creator of the universe, even if it is only one sentence. He deserves at least that much of me.
• I will drink nothing but water (or Gatorade, for medical reasons) this year. No tea, Dr. Pepper, coffee, etc. Just water.
• I will read at least one book of the Bible per month, beginning with Psalms in January. Our pastor has issued the challenge to read the book of Psalms in 31 days. I'm going to try to beat this challenge.

That's it. Those are my goals. Oh, I'm going to try to exercise, eat right, and check some more stuff off the bucket list, but these three are the ones for which I'm going to ask people to help hold me accountable. Check back December 31, 2014. We'll see how it goes. 

Saying Goodbye

A mentor, teacher, hero, and friend. One of the strongest Christians and humblest men I have ever had the privilege and honor of knowing. My heart hurts but my soul rejoices.

Until we meet again, Mr. Smith...

http://www.presentationportal.jslu.org/JSL/Smith_Lanier.html

25 To Life

The Hubby and I have accomplished something that it seems fewer and fewer couples manage these days. We have reached our 25th wedding anniversary. Yep, on November 19, 1988, we stood in a small town church before God, friends, and family and pledged to love one another for the rest of our lives. I do believe that not one person there thought we would survive the first year. I won't say it has be easy. Being married is the second hardest job one can ever take on. There are days where we honestly do not even like one another. But I cannot even begin to fathom what life would be like without this man by my side. So, not to make light of the past years, (and this is certainly not an exhaustive list) here are twenty-five reasons, in no particular order, that I am looking forward to our 50th!

1. He seeks God in all things. While He may not always give us what we ask for, He has led us down some pretty amazing paths and I look forward to seeing what comes next.
2. He loves me. Not an easy job. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I know it and I cannot express just how blessed I am that he continues to love me each and every day.
3. He promised to never bring up the D-word, no matter how bad life gets. It's the reason that I'm able to write this.
4. He makes a better mom than I do. We probably would have starved a long time ago, or at least suffocated under the mountains of laundry...
5. February 23, 1987
6. July 21, 1993
7. March 2, 1996
8. He is a fantastic provider for our family. His work ethic sometimes clashes with my need to have him in my line of sight, but I do appreciate his willingness to bring home the bacon. And to cook it.
9. He loves our family. Each one of our children is a "Daddy's Girl" and they know it. Might as well prepare now for the matching chicken tattoos. They're coming.
10. He is willing to deal with my neurotic issues. And my emotional issues. And my health issues. And my...
11. He loves Max the Wonderdog and The Stupid Cat Thing, no matter what he says. He's loved all the pets, even the weird ones.
12. He and I have vastly different love languages. I guess opposites really do attract.
13. He can't be still. If he could, our house would probably never be completely clean.
14. He takes care of his parents. They depend on him almost as much as I do. I'm glad he's there for them.
15. He tells the children that they will always have a room at home. It may the Harry Potter room under the stairs, but they will have one.
16. He takes care of me when I am sick. Which sometimes seems like more often than not.
17. He will go places with me. Even if it is just around the block. Just to keep me from going stir-crazy.
18. He doesn't insist on going everywhere with me. Thank Heaven.
19. He is willing to try new things. More often than I, most of the time.
20. He tolerates my lists. Even the invisible ones in my head.
21. He gets me chocolate even though I am not supposed to have it. And he doesn't fuss at me for it. Too much.
22. He think I still look 20. I think his prescription is way off, but that's just me.
23. He doesn't mind keeping my feet warm at night. Even when I'm threatening to smother him with his own pillow, he's still willing to take care of me.
24. He's stuck around for 25 years. Through all the ups and downs, backwards and forwards, it's been a wonderful, insane journey. I have become a better person because of him and could not imagine this life without him.
25. He is looking forward to another 25. And another. And another. And another. And...

Happy Anniversary!